DannyA:...How can we modify the esiting notify_user event without breaking our module every time we update jamroom or any modules with notifications?...
That's what events and listeners are for.
"Events and Listeners"
https://www.jamroom.net/the-jamroom-network/documentation/development/1011/events-and-listeners
your module will 'listen' for when the 'notify_user' event happens and at that point your module fires the function you have set to listen for that event.
When notify_user functions you will get this data:
$_data = array(
'to_user_id' => $to_user_id,
'from_user_id' => $from_user_id,
'module' => $module,
'event' => $event,
'subject' => $subject,
'message' => $message,
'registered' => $_tmp
);
jrCore_trigger_event('jrUser', 'notify_user', $_data);
which will come in on $_data inside your function.
You check what is in $_data and if it matches the set of conditions your after, then you do what you need to do.
It sounds like what you need to do is: search on the email address of the user who is being notified, figure out what profile he is attached to and send your own email to that profile's designated email address.